The View
by martik0
Summary: Short, light-hearted, Shenko fluff as I work my way through a ME/ME2/DLC playthrough. Rated M because Ilos and shore leave will be covered at some stage *swoon*
1. Chapter 1

So I'm playing ME through AGAIN because I reimaged by PC and I need to have a save game for ME3 :D! Anywho~ to make it a little less repetitive I thought I would write after each 'segment'. I originally tried my hand at narrating it but I feel a lot more comfortable with light and fluffy, and the start of Mass Effect is a lot darker than I remember when I have to write how Shep is feeling through it :O. So I figured I would just write some short scenes here and there. Plus I *really* need dialogue practice and Shenko is a fab excuse.

Ya'll may recognise this scene – thank you Bioware 3.

The View

Ashley, Kaidan and I were staring out over the Citadel from a viewport in the Wards. It was the first time any of us had been here and even Ashley had fallen into silence as we took in the size of the Galactic Capital.

"The council represents more races that I thought. No wonder they're careful with newcomers" I said.

"They probably just want to keep everything running. It has to be hard keeping all these cultures working together" Kaidan replied without turning. He too was in awe of the view.

"Or maybe they just don't like humans" Ashley offered.

"Why not?" I countered. "We've got oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love. According to the old vids, we have everything they want".

"When you put it that way, there's no reason they wouldn't like you". Kaidan paused, realised his mistake and hastily added "I mean, us! Humans! Ma'am."

Ashley slowly turned towards him and adopted a tone normally reserved for children. "You don't take much shore leave, do you, LT?".

Kaidan blushed and ducked his head. I bit the inside of my mouth in an attempt to stop my smirk.

"All right, laugh it up Chief" I said to Ashley, then I turned to Kaidan and added "I appreciate the thought, but we are on duty here".

Kaidan dipped his head and muttered a "yes Ma'am" before quickly returning his gaze to the window.

"I'll walk drag Ma'am" Ashley chuckled, shaking her head.

The three of us set off for the Doctors office. True to her word Ashley had fallen back so now Kaidan and I were walking together up front. I was worried the silence was awkward and I was trying to think of something to say to break it. _Do I mention the compliment? Do I comment on his hair? Do I try solidify my role as Commander by asking something mission-related? See, Shepard, I told myself. This is what happens when you put a career over your personal life. You lose basic social skills. Here you are, with no social skills acting like an awkward teenager with your Lieutenant. _

"Argh!" I said out loud, slapping myself in the forehead.

Kaidan looked over and raised an eyebrow. "Ma'am?"

_Good going dork. Now he knows you are having a mental conversation with yourself_. I allowed myself the luxury of a sigh. "Guess I have a problem with words slipping out too" I said lamely.

"Ah, about that Ma'am..."

"Oh no!" I said quickly "I didn't mean you had to explain"

"I _am_ sorry that I said it..." he paused to rub the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his I had noticed earlier. "In front of Chief Williams, anyway" he said, quickly glancing over to catch my reaction.

"Alenko..." I started "I'm not used to this". As I said it I moved my hand back and forth quickly in the space between us.

"It won't be an issue Ma'am" he said formally, already back to his usual cool, calm demeanour. "I don't make a habit of mixing my work and personal life. It came up accidently but if you aren't going to haul my ass over the coals for it, I'm not sorry I said it".

In my mind two slightly reddened and very well defined glutes swam in to focus. I have a rogue Spectre to stop and I am thinking about Kaidans (very impressive) booty. Wait, that's not right, I haven't even seen his booty. It was an imaginary booty at that. What if the real thing is misshapen? What if it is really hairy or has lots of cellulite. Oh my god I would just _die _if it has cellulite! I shortened my pace slightly and glanced over. W.O.W. through the uniform I could tell lack of shape and cellulite were not a problem. In fact if it looks that good, I might not even be concerned about the hair...

"Commander?" Kaidan asked, breaking into my thoughts.

"Hm?" I replied, raising my eyes to his face. His whiskey coloured eyes were bright with laughter and fanned with small crease lines.

I heard a snort from behind and glanced back over my shoulder. Ashley's head dropped at the same time and she began studying the Citadel floor as we walked.

"So there won't be any coal dragging?" he asked. The only trace of humour left on his face was a slight smirk.

"When I said I'm not used to this, I didn't just mean fraternisation. When I left Earth to join the Alliance I left behind my personal life and I never bothered to make a new one out here. I haven't ... socialised" I chose the word carefully "for a very long time, and I'm not used to feeling pleased when I am complimented on something not related to the military. So no, no coal dragging. Maybe a thank you instead".

I smiled at Kaidan and he returned the smile, creases reappearing at the corners of his eyes. I remembered the last time I had seen him smile like that. It was in the mess with Jenkins just three days ago. Jenkins. My stride faltered slightly as the absurdity of my actions struck me. I failed to keep Jenkins alive on this mission and it was far from over. Yet here I was, days later, checking out and flirting with one of my crew. _You will not divide your attention_ I told myself firmly. _You have done without companionship for this long Shepard and you will continue to do without it just fine._

I blew out a sigh and squared my shoulders. "But you are right Lieutenant" I said to him "mixing work and personal life is not a good idea".

He must have picked up on the change in my voice because although his brows furrowed he just nodded and replied "Understood Commander'.


	2. Chapter 2

Brain Pain

It was getting late by the time the crew boarded the Normandy from Therum. After the briefing the squad and day crew headed for their sleep pods. I cast a wistful glance at their backs as they left the comm. room and prepared to give my report to the council. I felt like I was a kid again, back with a new set of foster parents. In the scheme of things they were trying to do good, but their lack of trust in me meant they were ultimately failing. Although, once I became a teenager the lack of trust was warranted, I mused. And here I was worried about impressing them, and afraid of being kicked out if I messed up.

I walked wearily towards my cabin, thinking of interesting Turian anatomy in which I could place my boot. To the right of my cabin door Kaidan was at his station. He was crouched down on the balls of his feet and hunched over. I felt a pang of empathy for him – the explosion as we left the dig site must have triggered a migraine. Making no attempt to quieten my footsteps I walked over to him but he still didn't show any signs of noticing me approach. His head was in his hands and he appeared to be applying an unhealthy amount of force to his temples. I reached out to him and quickly pulled my hand back. I wasn't good at comforting people and I didn't want to make him feel worse.

Since taking over command of the Normandy and becoming a Spectre I have changed my leadership style, for the better, I believe. Previously I relied on my reputation and confidence in my military abilities and soldiers have followed me. My new crew is lucky enough to have four aliens in it. They have never heard of me and have no knowledge of alliance military standards – I wouldn't expect them to follow me simply because we have the same goal. They need to respect me so I am beginning to get to know my crew – alien and human and letting them get to know me. I find it refreshing to feel surrounded by friends, rather than subordinates. More to the point I find it refreshing to _have _friends_. _

_Ok Shepard, what would a friend do? _I reached out, tentatively, but with purpose this time and rested my hand on the base of his neck. Kaidan jumped at my touch but continued applying pressure.

"Just...a...minute, Ma'am" He ground out through clenched teeth.

"Eyes in the back of your head Lieutenant?" I squatted down next to him and started to rub the base of his neck. The pattern I was tracing was familiar but something I hadn't used in a long time. After a minute or so I could see he was using less pressure on his temples. With my free hand I gently pulled his left then right hand away. They fell to his lap and he used them to grip his knees. Continuing with my right hand on the back of his neck I bought my left hand up to his forehead and began a different pattern.

"Where did you learn this Commander? I was sure I would end up in the Med Bay with this one"

I shrugged my shoulders, but kept up the massage. "Gang life and red sand often go hand in hand. It was the only way I could get some of the guys to shut up when they were coming down".

"Looking out for people even back then"

"Actually, I just didn't want them drawing attention to us" I admitted.

Kaidan reached up and grabbed the wrist of my hand that was on his forehead. He looked me directly in the eye.

"Thank you" He said after a pause.

He leant forward, breaking contact and sat on the floor, facing me. I followed his lead and manoeuvred myself so I was sitting on my bottom but unlike him, I crossed my legs.

Moving his head around to stretch his neck Kaidan gave a small sigh of relief.

"That's fantastic. You should sell that technique Shepard".

I noted the informal use of my name – a first for him, but didn't mention it. A lot of the crew called me Shepard now. The only reason I hadn't insisted Kaidan call me that too is because I was struggling to keep it professional as it was. Yeh, right, I can imagine him naked multiple times a day but as long as he doesn't call me 'Shepard'. Who was I kidding? Not myself, clearly.

"Would you do that for the rest of the crew?" he asked softly.

And not Kaidan either, apparently. Getting close to someone is no longer an issue. That door had been firmly flung open and I intended to keep it that way. The issue was my feelings were a distraction. But I have tried to ignore them and that doesn't work. Perhaps I should put it out in the open. Once it's out and all is said and done it can be promptly shelved away for later, like pickled food. When all this has calmed down and I have time. Okay, when the mission is over and we get some leave. Screw that, the minute this mission is over I WILL see this man naked.

To his credit he hadn't begun checking my vital signs and was still waiting patiently for my answer. I took a deep breath. Here goes...

"No... No I don't" I said coyly.

Kaidans eyes widened slightly and he performed an exaggerated swallow. "What about the regs?"

I gave myself a mental pat on the back for pulling off 'coy'. "Regs or no regs this mission requires full attention but right now, for this conversation, I am putting it out there so I can do just that".

"This is a mutual thing then?"

"Oh yes"

He leaned forward and I picked up a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. My heart started beating at an embarrassing volume and frequency.

"In that case, for the purpose of this conversation..." he murmured, now on his knees, his face inches from mine "...and in an attempt to free up some of my attention..." I bit my lip as he moved past it and barely touched his lips to my ear "let me tell you what I intend to do to you on shore leave..."


End file.
